Ten Things Anyone Can Do To End Violence Against Women
by Jennifer Howard
1. Listen to women and believe them. When women tell you about violence they have experienced in their lives believe them. Often we don’t want to believe that horrible things happen to people we care about especially when other people we care about are the perpetrators. It is extremely rare for a woman to make up a story about rape or abuse. You maybe the first and only person she tells. Believe her and support her decisions, without being judgmental
2.Heal the violence in your own life. Most of us are survivors of some type of violence. Almost everybody fears becoming a victim of violence. Take care of yourself and do what you can to help yourself heal emotionally and physically. Get counselling. Join a support group.
Most women's shelters offer some type of free counselling and support
3.Break the silence. When you're ready, tell other people your own story of survival. Breaking the silence about our experiences reduces the shame that surrounds abuse and can empower other people to talk about their own experiences
4. Make violence your business. Most of us grew up with the idea that we're not supposed to ask questions about other people's families or relationships especially if there seems to be trouble. Keeping violence against women private helps no one. If you believe that someone is being abused ask them. They might not tell you right away, but it will send a signal that you are someone they can trust. If you don't know how to handle the news that someone you know is being abused, call your local women's shelter or crisis line for advice. Don't put yourself in danger by intervening in a violent situation. Call the police
5. Raise non-violent children. Talk to the children in your life about violence. Help them find non-violent ways of resolving conflict. Encourage imaginative, co-operative and non-violent play. Challenge socialized gender roles. Don't use violence (spanking) as punishment
6. Use your time, energy and money to promote women's equality. Women make up the vast majority of victims of relationship and sexual violence
Get involved in organizations working to end poverty and violence against women. Make donations. Sit on your union's Women's Committee. Start a group dedicated to ending violence against women. Vote for political parties with concrete plans and policies to increase women's equality
7. Speak out against negative media images. The media often uses images of violence against women to sell products. If you see an ad or commercial that you find offensive write/ fax/ e-mail the company. If acts of violence against women on television are passed off as entertainment complain to the Broadcast Standards Council or the Canadian Radio and Telecommunications Commission (CRTC). Make your own woman-positive media.
8.Help girls protect themselves. Help the girls in your life develop confidence and strong self-esteem. Let them know they're important as individuals in or out of a relationship. Talk frankly to them about sex and dating, stressing respect and their right to choose.
9. Encourage people who commit violence to get help. Don't judge. Let them know their behaviour is unacceptable and that there are counsellors and support groups to help them change.
10.Remember. Participate in acts of remembrance for victims of violence like the annual December 6 Vigil in memory of the victims of the Montreal Massacre. Celebrate survival.
From the Fall 2000 issue of Network magazine |
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