TOP 10 THINGS TO CONSIDER RE CHILD CUSTODY
Ruth Lee Taylor
1. Age of the child is important as parenting concerns differ with age of child. Children from ages 10 upwards are likely to have some input to the custodial arrangements.
2. Any special needs of the child or children. These should be documented re: allergies and special requirements eg-smoke free environments.
3. Schooling problems if any.
4.. Location of the respective parents and the degree of travel time between homes
5. Allegations of abuse of any kind must be carefully documented. Be wary of agencies that have a particular slant. Disclosures by the child must be instantly reported to an expert or child worker of some kind.
6. Arrange a parenting plan with special reference to the child’s needs and activities
7. Where there are violence issues-either physical or verbal-ensure there are third parties present
8. Collate evidence from other parties of concerns you have respecting his parenting-substance abuse, violence, criminal or bad driving records
9. Keep an access record with notes about lateness and no shows
10. Get medical attention instantly with reports in writing if you are refusing access on account of illness or if you suspect the child is being abused because of marks or physical evidence of any kind
TOP TEN THINGS NOT TO DO
1. Agree to joint custody in an attempt to placate or avoid problems. Take a breather and really consider whether you and the children’s father can REALLY jointly decide parenting issues and plans.
2. Consent to an access regime that is doomed to failure because it is too often and the child is not reacting well. It is hard if not impossible to reduce access and very wise to be in the position of increasing access.
3. Refuse access unless reasons are carefully documented and supported by third parties.
4. Refuse court-ordered access.
5. Appear to be working out an access plan from the point of view of your own “convenience”.
6. Refuse access until maintenance paid.
7. Grant access even if it is against your better judgment-anything you consent to returns to haunt you.
8. Bad mouth the other parent to any one.
9. Be a party to a scene, screaming match, fight of any kind. Walk away or run away from it.
10. Allow the custody of the child to be with the other parent temporarily while you are away on a job or need a rest or are on stress leave. |
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